Najwa-Trael

He will still be visiting...the countdown is at 10 days from now. Ten days. Ten long, agonizing days... He finally got me to admit what has been in my mind and wreaking havoc on my body this past week. ...He wants to continue where we left off. We both do. He wanted me to be the one to say it, for the sake of my mental health. This had to be a choice I consciously make for myself, not just in answer to a question. And, eventually, he will be moving here. So, in a way, I am getting everything I want...except that there is an expiration date at some point. I get the man I love...for as long as he'll have me. He'll be my best friend, my

This has been an interesting couple weeks. Developments: My female bestie went back to her abusive boyfriend. My male bestie has given up on the idea of getting her back. He also says it might have just been the lack of closure. I'm inclined to disagree, but it's a moot point. I have lost my focus. Up til this point, I have been able to rein in my own, conflicting desires and emotions by focusing on her. But...she gave him up. She gave up on that dream. It's her right...her choice. Which is why I'm not going to argue with her or otherwise try to dissuade her. She will simply have to learn the hard way, as I did. Other reasons why I'm

It's funny, all the possibilities. All the could-have-been. He and I had a conversation about various timelines that could have been in this situation. (Community reference.) First: the easiest, happiest timeline, the one that branched off a year ago. If the both of them had held on a year ago, if they'd held out over the distance, there would be none of this nonsense with her current ex, with me having feelings for him. He would be here living with her, instead of in Chicago. I would still have my two besties to go on adventures with, but without all the love triangle absurdity. It would never have been a thought. Now that I think on it